How To Write A Condolence Message

Signing a sympathy card or writing a condolence message isn’t always easy. For many people, they struggle with finding the right words to say in their condolence message. In most cases, we search for words that are comforting and express how sorry we are for the loss. However, the problem that people experience is worrying that they didn’t say enough or they didn’t say the right thing.
 
Rest assured though, writing a condolence message is not something you should be afraid to do. Although it’s not always easy, expressing sympathy and being there to offer your support is very important. Words are a powerful tool and go a long way in helping someone along their journey of grief.
condolence message
If you’ve never had to write a condolence message, it can be difficult to know where to start. Especially when you are writing about a sensitive topic. If you’re unsure what exactly you want to say, take some time to jot down your thoughts before you begin.
 
Below is an outline of how to write a condolence message. By following the steps we’ve listed below, you’ll be able to write a message of condolence. It’s important to keep in mind that there is no set structure to follow when writing a condolence message. Instead, just try to focus on clearly communicating your feelings and expressing your sympathy.

The Introduction

Make sure to start the beginning of your condolence message with “Dear….”. If your message is addressed to a family, try to make sure that you list each family member’s name. The beginning of your condolence message is where you should acknowledge their loss and how it has saddened you. There are many different phrases you can use but select something along the lines of the following:

“I was so sorry to learn of the passing of …”
 
“I am deeply saddened to hear about your mother’s passing”

The Middle Section

The middle section of your condolence message is where you should talk about the good qualities of the deceased and share some of your favorite memories. By taking some time to discuss these positive aspects of the deceased, it will help to comfort the person reading the note and let them know how appreciated their loved one was. In this section, you can say something like:
 
“I will miss his larger than life personality. There was something about him that always made him the life of the party.”
 
“I’ve heard so many positive stories about him over the years. He truly was one of a kind.”
 
The middle section is also a great place to share some of your favorite memories. For some people, they may have never heard the story of their loved one that you share. This can be very comforting for the bereaved and help them cope with the loss. Just make sure that the stories you share are appropriate and will not upset anyone who you choose to share it with.

Your Closing Thoughts

The final section of your condolence message is where you can offer support and discuss the funeral. The coming weeks will likely be quite difficult for the bereaved so if you would like to help in some way, now is the time. If you can it’s best to be specific with how you are willing to help. The bereaved will likely hear from many people that if they need anything to call that person. Instead of saying that, be more specific with how you want to help. A few different examples could be offering to drive the bereaved to any upcoming appointments, spend time looking after children or bringing over some meals so the family doesn’t have to cook.
 
The concluding section is also a good time to mention the funeral service. If the bereaved will be receiving the letter before the funeral, now is a good time to confirm if you will be attending. If the letter is written after the service, you could mention something about how beautiful the service was or apologize if you were unable to attend.
 
Depending on how close you are to the bereaved will determine how you sign off the condolence message. If you were quite close to the bereaved you can use something like:
 
“Lots of love” 
 
“With all my love”
 
However, if you were not that close to the bereaved, something more appropriate could be:
 
“My sincere sympathy”
 
“You’re in my prayers”

Sample Condolence Message

Dear Julia,
 
I was so saddened to learn of Stuart’s passing. I want you to know that you are in my prayers and how much he will be missed.
 
Stuart was one-of-a-kind and someone I always enjoyed spending time with. His infectious laugh and confidence was something that charmed many. He was the kind of man that everyone loved to be around and was always good for a laugh.
 
I remember the first time I met Stuart so many years ago. We were paired together for a charity golf tournament. Looking back, I probably had the worst round of my life, but some of the most fun I’ve ever had on the course. Even though we didn’t do well, Stuart made the round enjoyable and kept me laughing on every hole. Looking back, that’s probably why we didn’t play well, I don’t think we played a hole without one Stuart’s jokes cracking me up.
 
Thank you for inviting us to the funeral service. It was a truly beautiful service and I was pleased to hear so many memories of Stuart being shared.
 
Please remember that Alice and myself are here if there is anything you need. Alice is baking right now and would love to drop off some treats for you and your family to enjoy. Again, we are so sorry to hear about your loss. Please know that you’re in our thoughts and prayers.
 
With all our love,
 
Charlie and Alice
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