One of the perks of reaching the ripe old age of 95 is that you get to live to the ripe old age of 95. The downside is that you outlive most of the people that mean the most to you your family members, your friends Eileen outlived her sister and brother. She outlived her husband, Sam, who died in 1991, after 46 years of marriage. And she outlived her only child, Bob, by 18 years. Eighteen years Im so glad I had a chance to get to know both Eileen AND Sam. It wasnt until Sams death that I got to meet Sams side of the family. Bob, Eileen and me drove over to Vardeman, Mississippi for Sams funeral, his final resting place where I met the rest of the Summerville clan. I feel blessed that I met and married Bob and got to know his family. We were together for 17 years before he died in 2001. Who could have guessed he would leave this earth so soon at the age of 54. Yet as I grieved his death, Eileen was right there with me. She was also there FOR me.She made frequent trips to visit Bob and me. First to Houston, where Bob and I were living, where we married later to San Marcos, the town where Bob died. She stayed with me for about a month after Bob died. She was such a comfort to me at that time. And I presume the feeling was mutual. I think we got to know each other very well during that time. Two grieving women mother and wife consoling each other. I was so grateful to be with her while we were both trying to ease back into a world without Bob. It was during that time that I began to realize how Bob was very much like his mother in temperament, that wry sense of humor, quick witted, their finicky dislikes with certain foods, their love of chocolate chocolate milkshakes, chocolate milk and especially peppermint patties. In those early days, it was Bob and me and often Josh Eileens grandson who made the drive to Irving for visits. We would sit in the living room, talking. Much of the time, Eileen and Bob would chat about family memories. Life with her parents in New York, Mississippi, and Texas, the story about meeting her husband, who had just enlisted in the Navy and marrying him just a couple short months after meeting him. Eileen would often talk about her life with her husband on the family farm in rural Grenada, Mississippi, where she gave birth to her one son, Bob Having only one son didnt last long. There were the years during which she cared for her sisters children: Richard, Louie, and Bobby Lynn, raising them during their formative years. Imagine raising 4 boys I heard those stories too. One big extended family. Then Bob would chime in and off wed go, onto other topics like the ongoing disagreement about Eileens cooking. Eileen insisted that she loved to cook and made wonderful home-cooked dinners. Bob asserted that it was Eileens mother, who lived with the family for a time, who cooked most of the family meals. A visit to Irving wouldnt be complete without that discussion It wouldnt be complete without hearing about the harrowing family experience of the three of them being evacuated from Guantanamo Bay Cuba during the Cuban Missile Crisis it was a military base back then, not a prison. Eileen, Sam, and Bob, lived on the naval base there in Cuba and then when world affairs heated up, they and the other enlisted men and their families traveled back to the states by naval ship, not knowing for sure what would become of the United States. I often think about the first time I met Eileen and chuckle. When we became a couple, Bob took me to Irving to meet her and Sam. Meeting Eileen, I was confronted with an easygoing woman, comfortable to be with so comfortable, in fact, that during those visits, I would often fall asleep on her living room couch as she and Bob talked away. They were both big talkers. You all know how Eileen liked to talk Eileen came to find out months later, after several visits, that it wasnt that I was sleep deprived or that she put me to sleep with her stories. Nor was it that I had some kind of sleep abnormality that kept me snoozing on the couch. It was the antihistamine I had to take before arriving. I had a serious cat allergy and Eileen had cats several over the years, I was told. I think this was before the pharmaceutical industry came out with an anti-drowsy formula. I wondered why you were always falling asleep on the couch, she said to me one day, much later. Eileen was not a prying kind of person so she never asked me early-on why I was always nodding and I didnt want to make her feel bad that cats made my eyes itch and run so it took a while for the news about my cat allergies and the antihistamine to come out. We all had a laugh about that for a long time. Eileen loved cats. I got to hear about all of them I met the last couple of them: Boo and her last cat, Husky. After Bob and I had been together for a couple years, Sam brought home something different: a dog. A big dog. Sams idea was to give Prince, a loveable Doberman pincher, a needed home. Prince was around when Josh was just a young boy. Josh liked to ride on Princes back, around the living room like a horse. One day Prince revealed a vicious streak and almost took Joshs eye out. We were all sitting around when Prince bit Josh during that riding session. Eileen put her foot down after that and Prince was out of the house pronto. That put an end to dog adoptions. So as I reflect back on the years that my life and Eileens merged, I realize that life is all about connecting with others in meaningful ways. I would not have had the pleasure and honor of getting to know Eileen of helping her complete the rest of her life journey if certain events had not taken place. I guess it was meant to be. My relationship with Eileen was a meaningful connection. Be at peace, mom. I love you.